New York, New York: Cabin Down Below
Let’s be perfectly clear: I have nothing bad to say about this bar. My review is more of a review of myself. I am a douche when I am here and everyone hates me. I was looking for a nice intimate place to hang out with my friend Jason and this place was exactly that until every beautiful, interesting person in New York City showed up 10 minutes later. I immediately got balder and my clothes more ill-fitting. I lost the ability to communicate and could not wait to get back to my hotel and masturbate, imagining all the tall female customers who are great dancers laughing at my copious pubic hair. This bar makes me a submissive douche. I feel like I owe it an apology.
110 Ave. A, East Village (212-614-9798)