Friday, January 30, 2015

Armageddon Gear

Lansky's T.A.S.K. is a go-bag for the end of days


Last year's supposed "apocalypse" came and went without so much as a whisper. (Except for Cyprus' economy.)

And while Walking Dead might be done for the season, you never know when the real walking dead might reanimate to gnaw off our appendages. After all, if Brad Pitt's taking this seriously, so should you.

Because 2013 could be the year. It could. You never know.

And that's why you should have Lansky's T.A.S.K., or Tactical Apocalypse Survival Kit, so that you're always at the ready to take on braineaters and Cypriot bankers. (Same diff, really.)

The included multi-use battle axe is handy for splitting skulls and cords of firewood both; the easy-grip knife can destroy a frontal cortex and gut a fish with equal ease. Two sharpeners, one for each blade, keep everything razor-ready.

The kit also includes a water purification system that turns the putrid muck of corpse-strewn lakes and rivers into a crystal-clear drink so pure that even the EPA would be impressed (were it still around after the zombies arrived, that is).

A flashlight, 20-function multi-tool, paracord bracelet, and combined firesteel/compass round out your supply pack.

And if that's not enough to keep you safe from the walking dead, nothing will.

Lansky T.A.S.K.

Price: $200 here

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