In a perfect world, you'd be independently wealthy, Quentin Tarantino would make a movie every month just for you, and all women would have beautiful, healthy ta-tas.
We can't help you with the first two, but we can help you get closer to living in a world where #3 is a reality.
All you have to do is drink a ton of beer.
No, this is not a joke. It's The Breastfest, bringing beer-soaked, pro-pink-ribbon fun back to Fort Mason on Saturday, July 13.
Your $50 ticket covers you for unlimited pours from 21st Amendment, Social Kitchen, and Brewery, and dozens of other craft brewers. It also helps cover complimentary and alternative treatments for low-income ladies fighting breast cancer.
Which means each pour is potentially bringing you more good karma.
So go ahead, double up.
Saturday, July 13
Fort Mason Festival Pavillion
Marina Blvd. at Octavia, The Marina
Tickets: $50 in advance, $60 at the door.
Pre-empt a hangover: Your ticket includes all the garlic fries, pulled pork sliders, and fried pickles you can eat.
Nearby: Circa; Tacolicious; The Buena Vista Cafe