Sucks about that tailgating ban. Good thing you wouldn't be caught dead in East Rutherford, anyway.
Instead, do Super Bowl like a true New Yorker: with an over-the-top game day party that won't make you miss eating cold sandwiches in your parking space like a rube.
Just check out this lineup: Cris Carter, Joe Theismann, Doug Flutie, and Matt Light bring their athletic expertise, while Michael White, Johnny Iuzzini, Bill Telepan, Marc Forgione, and Pat LaFrieda bring the eats over the course of five days — starting at 9a each day — leading up to Super Bowl Sunday. It's basically a 15,000-square-foot food festival meets football, a.k.a. heaven.
Wed-Sun Jan 29-Feb 2. 1 Penn Plaza (W. 34th St.), Midtown. $400 and up here.
This'll just be a quiet night of hobnobbing with a guy who used to throw around a ball or two. Joe Montana's his name, and he'll be accompanied by a guy named Dwight Clark, with whom he made a bit of football history some years back. You can ask 'em about it over at the premium open bar, but just remember there's also a live game happening on the 20 flat screens throughout the room.
Sun Feb 2 4p. Edison Ballroom, 240 W. 47th St. (7th Ave.), Midtown. $300-2,500 here.
But maybe all-star lineups aren't your steez. Well, Briskettown's teamed up with Villain to throw a 'cue-filled rager, and the only star there is the meat: brisket, pulled pork, and sausage, plus chicken wings and nachos to round everything out. If you want to kick it up a notch, splurge on the private viewing suite with an unlimited BBQ buffet and open bar for you and your 50 closest friends.
Sun Feb 2 4p. 50 N. 3rd St. (Kent Ave.), Williamsburg. $55-5,000 here.