Just look at yourself. Just look at what these few short weeks of an all-barbecue diet have done to your pre-Labor Day physique.
You need to get the hell back to camp.
OCR Training Camp, that is. The OCR stands for "Obstacle Course Racing," which means you will not be huffing and puffing little mouse-breaths on an elliptical machine.
No, you'll be ferried away for two days to the Hudson Valley, where you'll be climbing ropes, running trails, tackling walls, and worming your way through mud pits.
Don't worry — you don't need to be a Tough Mudder vet to come here. This camp welcomes all fitness levels.
And once you're done with all that coaching on functional strength, endurance racing conditioning, and nutritional awareness, you'll get to hit up the beer-fueled bonfire and undo some of your day's good work.
The best part? It'll run you no more than a couple of middling tickets to a football game. But this time you're smack dab in the middle of all that running, mud, and booze instead of just watching from the stands.
That's what they call "all-inclusive."