There are few places in this city where you can get your flaxseed cleanse bolstered by a shot of vodka.
And that is a damn shame, New York.
But Cocktail Bodega is here to fill that gap, providing healthy beverages made deliciously unhealthy with an injection of booze.
It's a primary-colored wonderland conceived by the guys behind Sons of Essex, with an acid-tinged vibe somewhere between a '50s diner and Papaya King.
Take, for example, the spiked fresh juice selection: apple and beet meet whiskey in the Ironman, while the Gingersnap Ginseng Gin mixes bee pollen, carrot juice, and ginger, plus an "Energy Memory" booster.
But that slug of Plymouth probably doesn't help with the memory part.
Booze comes smoothified, too. You never thought whiskey and wheat grass could meet in a blender — let alone rum and whatever the hell sea buckthorn juice is — but these madmen have done it.
And Bodega boasts a nice grub selection to mix with the spirits in your stomach, including a rye Reuben laced with kimchi and Jamaican beef patties.
Because one must always keep his levels of wheat grass, whiskey, and beef patties balanced.
Price: 2 (out of 4)
Noise: 3 (out of 4)
Subway: F to 2nd Ave.
Scene: Laidback smoothie scenesters
Hot seat: Upstairs, grab a seat at the bar to watch the blenders at work.
Best bets: Ironman Whiskey; The Bodega Cleanse; Kimchee Reuben
Bodega underground: Head downstairs to the subway-themed lounge, complete with seats and poles purchased from the MTA.
Nearby: The Wren; Bowery Diner; Bowery Kitchen
Rundown's restaurant reviews are based on anonymous visits from reporters, not press releases.