Some people aren't gin people. Those people are not us.
The Valley Girlish vodka bottle's more elegant older sister has a hotter accent and gets us into trouble -- the good kind.
You'll find the juniper-scented girl at the leather-lined Gin Palace, in the space once occupied by Cienfuegos' downstairs resto, El Cobre. Like them, the Palace is also part of the extended Death & Co. empire, which you know well by now.
Maybe a little too well.
That won't stop here, where every highly drinkable drink is $10 or less, including cocktail classics like the Martinez and the French 75.
And there's an ambitious concoction of Dorothy Parker gin, raspberries, and Swedish Punsch, called Love on a Farmboy's Wages — if you're the kind of farmboy who even knows what Swedish Punsch is.
But it might be best to just stick to the grapefruit-laced gin-and-tonics, which the Palace pours on-tap for ease of drinkability.
There's more British Invasion in the small bar bites menu, with Anglicized samosas and Piccadilly'd currywurst, and the now-ubiquitous Scotch Egg. Not that we'd ever complain about a fried bomb of egg-stuffed sausage, especially not one readily consumed in a room that looks like it was co-designed by a carnival barker and the Marquis de Sade.
How else to explain the disco light sculpture in a stripper cage?
95 Ave. A (E. 6th St.), East Village
Price: 2 out of 4 Noise: 3 out of 4
Subway: L to 3rd Ave.
Scene: The cocktail elite unafraid to take a juniper journey.
Best bets: Gin and Tonic; Love on a Farmboy's Wages; currywurst
Gin lieu of: Don't worry, the bar's still fully stocked for the gin-averse, along with tidy selection of semi-obscure beers.
Nearby: Cienfuegos; Death and Co.; The Beagle
Photo courtesy Katie Sokoler / Gothamist