They like to say Miami's the sexiest place on the planet.
But for all the things it's not — like secluded or private — you've got to head a couple hours north to a quirky town named for the Roman god of the sky.
That's where you'll find the Jupiter Beach Resort & Spa occupying a bit of Jupiter waterfront that's as quiet as things get in South Florida.
We're talking a beach where there's more native dunes than condos, where the water crashes on limestone rocks, and where you might not pass another person during a stroll at sunset.
And that hammock under the seagrape trees? Yeah, you can post up there for the day.
If all that sounds just a little too slowed down, there's always paddleboard rentals and Marlins spring training baseball nearby. Later, head to the resort's recently renovated and very slick bar, Sinclair's, home of an extremely dry martini, a baller billiards room, and the starting spot for many bachelor parties.
When the festivities head upstairs, be sure it's in one of the two-bedroom penthouses ($800-1,500 nightly), where the lounge features nonstop views of that beach you conquered earlier.
Afterward, it's back to that city known for its sexiness.
But for now, that beach, it's all yours.
Price: 3 (out of 4)
Noise: 1 (out of 4)
Scene: Beachfront resort life in the quietest stretch of South Florida.
Best bets: Taking over the billiard room after a day on the water.
Hot seat: The circular couch that wraps around the oceanfront fire pit.
Nearby: Guanabanas; Square Grouper Tiki Bar; Hog Snappers Shack & Sushi