Monday, January 26, 2015

Red Light Special

It's Bangkok in South Beach at Patpong Road


The best things in life aren't free. They're hidden.

And thanks to the guys behind Khong, Swine, and Yardbird, your new den of debauchery is just steps from the dinner table — assuming you know where to look.

Head to the alleyway just off Lincoln Road and Meridian Avenue and ask the folks at Khong River House to direct you to Patpong Road, a tiny new bar and lounge perched above the Asian restaurant.

Pad your belly with a plate of drunken rice noodles, then slip through that side door and head upstairs into a dark interior resembling Bangkok’s notorious Red Light District (which is on Patpong Road).

Inside, you'll find hanging lamps, couches adorned with sleek silk throw pillows, and a Red Light District staple: tall, curvy female servers and dancers in cheek-baring shorts straight from Miley Cyrus' wardrobe.

Kick it at a table alongside the wall as the DJ pumps beats from the back corner while the bartenders prepare your cocktail of choice: Pat That with whiskey, lemongrass, and ginger ale, or the Laid-ee (rum served in a clear Capri Sun-like sippy bag with straw).

In this place, the less glass, the better.

Patpong Road (at Khong River House)
1661 Meridian Ave., Miami Beach
(305) 763-8147

Price: 2 (out of 4)
Noise: 3 (out of 4)
Parking: Valet; street
Scene: After-dinner lax hangout seekers 
Best bets: Laid-ee; Pat That; drunken rice noodles
Hot seat: Any cushioned couch for prime viewing of servers
Nearby: Lucky Strike; Huahua’s Taqueria; Shake Shack

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