Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Holy Grail

Sword fights and beer wenches at the Florida Renaissance Fest

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Remember those country fairs your old man took you to when you were a kid, full of donkey rides and fried dough?

Yeah, this isn’t one of them. 

Instead witness trapeze acts, beer wenches with back problems, and knights battling it out against each other during the Florida Renaissance Festival

Stroll back into the Dark Ages as Cauley Square Historic Village is transformed into a medieval kingdom, complete with giant castles, fire-breathing beasts (ok, just monster alligators), and an insane female threesome trapeze-inspired act.

Not to mention sword fights and the brand new Predators Unlimited show with bears and crocodiles.

The Ironhill Vagabonds bust out some supersonic pub songs that will pair nicely with all the ale that'll be consumed, while the Masala Gypsy Dancers get your attention with their supersonic-shaking hips. 

And of course, this wouldn’t be a proper medieval blowout without full-on Cable Guy-style contact jousting with suited-up armored knights on draft horses battling each other to the death. 

As Jim Carrey might say, the red knight's going down.

Florida Renaissance Festival
Sunday, April 14
10a
Cauley Square Historic Village
22400 Old Dixie Hwy., South Miami
(305) 258-3543
ren-fest.com

Tickets: $20 here

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