It's time for a little tough love. Your dog is tired of peeing on fire hydrants and pawing at squirrels on the other side of the window.
Sure, he's a city dog and enjoys the socialite bitches that frequent the dog park, as well as the organic, free-trade, vegan chow you buy him at Whole Foods. But sometimes a dog's gotta be a dog.
Return to the wild. Howl at the moon. Poop on a snake.
Well, he's in luck. Because this Saturday the no-dogs-allowed Trinity River Audubon Center and the Great Trinity Forest open up to four-legged furballs for Paws on the Prairie 2014.
For four hours, you and your beast can explore five miles of trails together. A better man/best friend bonding moment there's rarely been.
And if you don't have a dog, get there early and adopt one on the spot. Then take a hike and prepare for the women to ooh and ahh while getting licked on the face.
If they seem receptive, let your dog give them a kiss, too.
Paws on the Prairie 2014
Saturday, February 8
Trinity River Audubon Center
6500 Great Trinity Forest Way (formerly 6500 S. Loop 12), South Dallas
Nearby: Polly's Breakfast & Burgers; Jamaica Jerk Center; Mariscos El Ceviche Loco