Afraid to go in the water: soooo 1975.
Afraid to walk down the street for fear of great white attacks from above: Hello, Sharknado!
The much-buzzed-about, low-budget horror flick is making a rare move from small-screen cable network to big-screen movie theater for one show only this Friday at two select area theaters.
It's already been only the best thing ever to happen on Twitter, so recharge your phone, and maybe wear this for showtime.
Then head out for a proper midnight showing with your fellow cult-loving schlock buffs congregate to catch all the Ian-Ziering-Tara-Reid-flying-shark-chainsaw-wielding goodness. Including plenty of never-before-seen footage.
If you've already seen Sharknado, you've only seen the tip of the iceberg.
Ooh, Sharktanic. Somebody get Syfy on the phone.