The CDC has issued a warning for the Dallas area of a potential outbreak targeting individuals 21 and over.
The Center for Delicious Cocktails considers the brain freeze epidemic this summer's most imminent threat.
The cause for alarm can be traced back to one source, The Quarter Bar at Bread Winners, a quaint New Orleans-style bar on McKinney Avenue.
Witnesses claim that Booze Pops have been seen in the hands of hundreds, maybe thousands. Favored strains include Filthy Monkeys (360° Double Chocolate Vodka, Malibu Banana Rum and chocolate milk), Pirate Bootys (Kahlúa Liqueur, Bailey's Irish Cream, and Abita Root Beer), and Blemonades (Deep Eddy Vodka, lemonade, and fresh blackberries).
In total, there are six potential pops at the center of this controversy, as well as frozen cherry limeades and frozen Jack & Cokes, which customers ingest through straws.
The only way to develop immunity to brain freeze is to build up a tolerance to Booze Pops and frozen slushie drinks by consuming often. Stockpiling and hoarding are encouraged.