Mermaids are cute and all, but they hardly have the energizing powers of unicorn blood.
A serious man needs serious coffee.
So leave it to the guys at Dark Matter to deliver Unicorn Blood Espresso and other highly caffeinated offerings at the new coffee bar located inside its Ukrainian Village roasting facility.
Snag one of the four seats at the intimate bar and feast your eyes on racks containing swords that cut through the jungles of Guatemala and El Salvador, the spoils of years of traveling the world harvesting beans.
Chances are one of the owners will be pouring your drip coffee, so do the right thing and order a cortado (espresso cut with warm milk).
The roaster not only doubles as a coffee bar, but also as a retail space for their blends from Head Zeppelin Italian espresso to San Jose Bourbon Rojo as well as a pre-bottled iced coffee, Chocolate City.
These guys also have friends in high places who occasionally drop off treats from Do-Rite Donuts and Bang Bang Pie.
Because what would unicorns eat, if not donuts?
Price: 1 (out of 4)
Noise: 3 (out of 4)
Subway: Blue Line to Chicago
Scene: The most serious of coffee freaks seeking a morning fix
Best bets: The only bets are drip coffee, espresso, cortado, latte or mocha
Nearby: Lockdown Bar & Grill; Bite Cafe; Empty Bottle