Things that cause riots in Boston: Red Sox wins, Red Sox losses, insane taxes on tea.
But none of these compare to a nice full-bodied 2007 Cab.
Until the Sox give us another reason to rush the streets, exercise your right to get up, stand up, and drink up at Wine Riot, going down next Friday at the Park Plaza Castle.
Right off the bat, this is the classiest riot you've ever been in. Note the lack of angry cops on horseback. Substitute the scent of burning jerseys for notes of Madagascar vanilla. Replace overturned vehicles with long-stemmed glass vehicles as wine experts pour 250 varieties of vino for you to sample — and buy.
Yep, 250 varieties.
In between popping corks, you should be able to find some time to learn about what the hell you are rioting about in the fist place. Any of the quick 20-minute classes on topics ranging from Spanish wines to German Rieslings are a good place to start feeding your thirst for, eh, knowledge.
And since it might have been a while since your last riot, you can take some inspiration from DJ Andie Cassette spinning tunes while you refuel with food.
We hate to quote Miley Cyrus, but we can't stop.