Come night time, you're a weapon of mass seduction.
Come morning? Those powers are in dire need of a recharge, especially when you wake up and remember you've got a hungover new house guest to attend to.
Luckily, we're here to transform you into a morning-after master.
Breakfast of Champions
Look, we get it: some men keep their apartments purposely bare to deflect "Eager Women Who Call the Next Day to Find Jewelry That Isn't Actually Lost." But in the event that you'd prefer to extend your quality time beyond a morning session, it's time to break out the big guns and make the lady some damn waffles. She's earned it.
All-Clad Classic Round Waffle Maker by Williams-Sonoma ($130 here)
And whether your humble abode is kept barren or chock full of 2004 Red Sox memorabilia, be sure to keep it clean. Hand-feeding your girl? Dirty. Hand-feeding her off cardboard plates because the real ones are dirty? Filthy. If you can't commit to keeping your pad up to snuff, call in the pros to get 'er done.
Merry Maids (Price upon consultation and services rendered here)
Actually, don't do anything: This espresso maker will do all the work for you at the touch of a button. And because at some point you have to get up and on with your day, maybe make it a double? Either way, it's fun to say "percolate." (We'll leave percolation innuendo for you and your guest.)
CitiZ Espresso Machine by Nespresso ($249 here)
Quite frankly, the walk of shame is something better kept in memoriam of our younger selves. Why not send off your lady in style with a black car from Uber? Sure, a cab is cheaper, but offering a private driver (if only for a few miles) is so much cooler and, in our experience, will boost your chances of many happy returns.
Uber On-Demand Private Car Service ($20 and up here)